importracersrule: are you still employed?
You know what ImportRacersRule, that’s a damn good question. I feel like I haven’t worked in a month, and I definitely haven’t worked in at least 5 days.
I just spent a very interesting 5 days and 4 nights at see traveling from Puerto Lindo, Panama to Cartagena, Colombia. Our boat captain was the biggest pothead I’ve ever encountered in my life, and married to one as well. Their offspring was basically the spawn of Satan whom, if I had been given the chance, I would have liked to murder.
All in all though the rest of the people we sailed with were really cool people, we had a completely international group, I was the only American. We had one English girl, one Frenchman (who I’m sharing a room with in Cartagena), one guy from Holland, an Israeli couple, a guy from French Canada, and a guy from Brazil. The San Blas Islands off the coast of Panama were beautiful and interesting. I snorkeled a shipwreck right off the coast of one. I snorkeled a lot actually. I didn’t get seasick, so that was fun watching other people throw up around me (just kidding). The food was amazing, we had a brocoli quiche one night, huge hamburgers for lunch one day, kabobs, man it was great, I just wish there had been more of it because I ate about as much as 3 people for each meal.
I had some really good conversations with Shreena the girl from the UK and I think we will be in touch for a while. We told eachother about our past love life and gave eachother advice about our future life plans. We actually had both gone through similar things so it was good to get eachothers perspective on our situations.
The boat gave me a lot of time to think and to read. I started reading a Leo Tolstoy story that I kind of fell in love with. I think it starts with an A and is named after a woman and is kind of famous. Anyway the first bit of it put me right back into the situation of my break up with my ex girlfriend and despite how, I don’t feel like I did anything explicitly wrong, I can definitely see how what I did hurt her deeply and would have made her feel. Tolstoy really lets you into the head of each of the characters, into their psychology and emotions in a way that really makes you sympathize with them and associate with them in a deeper way.
Anyway it made me want to write an apology to my ex girlfriend for how things turned out. Which I think I’ll do right now, brb.
Ok now onto bigger and better things.
I’m getting to the point where I’m resenting my work a bit and I either want to come home and focus on it completely, or just not be bothered by it while I’m on this trip. I spent a lot of time talking with Shreena about what we wanted to do with our lives, what our passions were, and what we would do to make them work for us in our life.
I remember thinking about how short life is starting to seem to me and how I don’t want to waste it doing something I don’t absolutely love doing. I think a life of poor soul searching and traveling would be far better for me than a rich life of working and playing with expensive toys.
I started thinking… if I just sold everything right now I’d probably have enough for a good 5 years of traveling the world.
I don’t know though, its definitely a tough decision to make for myself because of my wanting to help my dad and also being involved in my own business now. Its not so easy to just pick up and leave that.
At the same time I am only committed to them as much as I want to be. I don’t have a child, the only thing really holding myself back is… me. I don’t know how its all going to pan out at this point but this trip has definitely been opening my eyes to the fact that I’m not the only one that feels this way. I’ve met countless people doing what I have thought of doing for a year now. Quitting their job and just traveling for years at a time and worrying about the consequences later. Shreena is a dentist who already quit her job and is traveling south america until the money runs out. From there her plans are to find a job helping with AIDS awareness in India. Seriously, these people exist, and sometimes I think I might be one of them.
I miss my friends at home and I miss some people more than others. But at the same time I’m happy to be doing what I’m doing, regardless of what the consequences of it might be when I get home.
Its time to wake up.
